Well, They are Virgins...

Sorry, I couldn't resist. Thanks to Jamilla for sharing this pic!

Shower Scare

Joan was relieved that the wedding ceremony was finally over. Corset, petticoats, garters, just endless ruffles and fuss. When the newly wed couple finally retired to their suite, Joan gave a sigh of relief and headed for the bathroom. She closed the door soundly behind her and began disrobing from her monumentous attire. It had been a long day. After the wedding, Joan knew the festivities were finally, mercifully, over and she and Reginald would retire to bed. After weeks of planning, errands, and shopping for The Big Day, it was finally all over. Joan climbed languidly into a hot shower with a sigh of relief. The day was done. "What on earth was Mother trying to prepare me for anyway?" she wondered.

Suddenly, the bathroom door flew open with a startling burst. The cool air rushed into the humid room in florid swirls. Joan peeked her eyes cautiously beyond the shower curtain...only to see Reginald, standing there framed by the doorway, not a thread of clothing covering his masculine form.

In horror, Joan recoiled and screamed at the sight of that...that unknown, unimagined THING! It seemed to be aimed, pointing, eagerly right at her!

The Escape

Edwin slept peacefully. It had been a long day. His wife had served him well. Exhausted, he fell into a blissful slumber and a land of dreams.


Little did Edwin know, while he slept, the bedroom cage lay empty in the back of the room. Right under his very nose, his wife had escaped.

Appearance of Wickedness

What else can we say... except for "Amen!"

Can't Leave Home

Martha would like to work, but like many women of her generation, she can't leave home. Her husband keeps her in the house under lock and key. But as Martha gazes into the ad at the left in her monthly ladies magazine, a world beyond drapes and dishes begins to illustrate before her eyes!

Imagine, serving local businessmen, doctors...why how much better could it get? Now she wouldn't need to JUST serve her husband Harvey, but other men, too! And they even come to your home to train you.

Gosh, Martha is one lucky girl!

Home from the Honeymoon

Betty Rose came up the walk with hesitant anticipation. Finally, the honeymoon had ended. She still didn't understand why he wanted her to do that. But has her mother told her, a man has his needs, and a wife has her duties. Mother also said that all honeymoons come to an end. Mother says...mother says...*sigh* Now it was time for Hank's final surprise...


"Honey, don't think of it as your prison...

Just think of it as my castle!"

Cigarette More Doctors Prefer!

Click the pic for it to enlarge. Yes, indeed. Camels, doctor endorsed.

Ah, yes, the good old days...

Yikes.

Jeanette's Jealousy

Jeanette gazed through the frosty window, her eyes squinted in anger, her face half hidden behind her mink muffler. The darkness of the night surrounded her, that and the darkness of her greedy envy.

"So, it's true!" Jeanette rasped under her breath into the cold night air. "Millie did get one of those new wonder machines for her anniversary. That whore. She gets all the breaks, how'd she land a husband like that?" Jeanette grumbled in jealousy, her bitterness seething within her.

Jeanette turned and shuffled through the snow across the alley back to her house and her overflowing sink of dirty dishes. Harold sat inside in his recliner reading the newspaper, completely unaware of the wifely rage about to enter through the back door.

God have mercy on poor Harold's soul.

Career Girl

Eleanor could not wait to start her new job. She actually was going to be a real career girl. With her snappy calfskin gloves, smart set beret, and that oh-to-die-for pinstripe suit, she just knew she was the picture of perfection. Those bold magenta stripes on her blouse were sure to project her bold personality as a professional woman. Who needs a man when you can work it like Eleanor?

Little did Eleanor know, the men at the office had heard of the new lady hire, the first woman ever to join the department. Before she arrived, they took a moment to replace her pens and pencils with kitchen utensils, and her typewriter with a coffee pot.

Shameful Ignorance

[The fine print at the bottom of this 1950's douche ad actually and truly reads as follows...]

"Often a young bride is more to be pitied than blamed when her husband starts acting cold and indifferent. She may have no one to turn to for proper scientific knowledge she could trust about intimate feminine cleanliness."
---
Jane scanned through the ad. Yes, this just MUST be it. Dick had started acting cold and indifferent. Just like the ad said. Jane also did not have anyone to turn to for proper scientific knowledge. Mother? No, mother would never do. Jane's neighbor and best friend Helen? No, Jane could never confess to Helen that 'the real truth of intimate physical facts' was unknown to her. Jane would be both pitied and blamed.

No, Jane would just have to send for the advertised booklet right away. So she, too, would finally know the proper scientific facts.

On a Service Basis

Jean scrubbed her hair with gusto. She had finished scrubbing all the floors, shining the silver, mending Arnold's socks, and dicing up the final ingredients for tonight's supper masterpiece. Best of all, Jean had finally mastered vacuuming in high heels. Jean knew she had all the traits of a refined, modern wife of 1952. It had been a long day, and it felt good to get cleaned up. Mother said, a clean house and a clean self are just a few of the all-important Wifely Duties. As Jean scrubbed her lustrous hair, she smiled to herself.
Yes, Jean knew why Arnold had made her his wife. She was well aware of all of the Wifely Duties. But surely that didn't mean she ever had to let a dirty thing touch her. Jean was sure Arnold would understand...

Wouldn't he?

The Garden Club

To put it mildly, Mary Ellen and JoBeth were ecstatic. Even Mertyl had put down her nail polish long enough to gaze upon them. There the two women stood, aside the podium, a fragrant bouquet of flowers in hand, pride straightening their spines into a posture of womanly poise.

Mary Ellen and JoBeth had just been elected President and Treasurer of the Hillsboro Ladies Garden Club. Yes, things would be changing, you could mark my word on that. The Garden Club had just been spun with a fresh wind of change.

JoBeth was reminiscent, remembering a similar podium, twelve years prior, Hillsboro High Prom Queen 1947. Yes, today was her day to shine once again.

Mary Ellen was also reminiscent. Mabel had secretly taken Mary Ellen's prized crystal pickle dish at the last luncheon party. Mabel had thought the act had been unnoticed. But with Mary Ellen as President of the Garden Club, now Mabel was going to be sorry. Terribly sorry.

Kitchen Honeys

Mary Beth could not believe her eyes. Gerald was actually doing the dishes, and her brother Wade drying. Mother said men were not made for housework, dishes are simply one of the Wifely Duties. No discussion. Well, Mother wasn't a wife of the 1950's like Mary Beth. Mary Beth had it made. She certainly was a wife of progress.

Suddenly, her eyes flew open and she became all to aware of the darkness surrounding her. The moon shown through the bedroom window, one of her hair curlers poked into her scalp, her pillow was moist with perspiration. Gerald lay sleeping soundly beside her. It was a cruel, cruel dream.

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Stays Silent - Lasts Longer

Get ready men, these are on order now...

yes, gentlemen, marital bliss can be yours!

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Make it King Sized

Alice ran to her mailbox as soon as the mailman left. "Thank goodness! It came!" she thought with relief. Alice flipped through her monthly woman's journal. Now where was that ad Marge had mentioned. "Oh yes, here it is!" she thought with anticipation...

"So ladies, do you know what it means to love a king-sized man?" the ad read. Alice knew very well it meant, herself married to a 'king-sized man'. Yet, as a new wife, she was full of secret questions. Alice decided to immediately send for the advertised booklet, by mail-order for just 15 cents. Hopefully, then, just hopefully, she'd finally understand...what she was supposed to do with the king-sized "it" as well.

The Obsession

Mertyl was not happy. In fact, she was close to reaching the true depths of despair.

You might think that everything is fine, everything is dandy. Afterall, that perfectly coifed hair and brazen red lipstick are admirable attempts at giving the appearance that all is well.

But I talked to Mertyl today at the Garden Club luncheon, and she admitted that things have gotten to be just too much.

When Smitty's Drug & Thrift put nail laquer on sale for just 15 cents a bottle, Mertyl fell victim to a thrify shoppers demise. Determined to use every bottle, she alternates between color application and color removal every 45 minutes.

"This has got to stop," she laments. But how?

Edith's Kitchen Haven

Oh! I am just so well endowed. Don't you consider me supremely blessed? May the kitchen goddess smile down upon me and my collection of domestic toolage.

Now don't tell anyone...but some lazy afternoons, I like to throw open my cupboards, pull everything out, and just bask in the grandure of it all. Sometimes I even grab my trusty notebook and make lists of every kitchen accessory I have. I might organize them in my notebook by color, type, or use. Then I might sit with my notes and re-plan how to better arrange or organize my kitchen haven.

Marge and Susan are so terribly jealous of me. I just know it.

And my dear husband wonders what on earth keeps me so blissfully happy and busy during the day! Well, isn't it obvious?

Dinner at the Y

"Dining at the Y is by invitation, only."

Thanks to Le Craquore al-Rahmin for providing the caption to his photo. I came across it in one of my vintage magazines, it is from a hosiery ad, and just had to post it here on the blog. I asked the Chatterboxx tribe for suggestions. This one got the vote!

Add your captions or stories for this pic as a comment below.